Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Source:Google.com.pk
Biography:
* “I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.
I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.”
* A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”
* Once there was a husband named Harder living with his wife in a bungalow house. The door of the house has 2 holes.
One day they got bankrupt. The wife was carrying tons of boxes. When she was approaching the door, she slipped and her breasts got stuck in both holes of door.
A mail man arrived and wonder what’s that and thought it’s a doorbell and squeezed it. The wife screams and call for her husband, “Harder!”
So the mail man squeezed her breasts even harder while the wife keeps calling her husband.
A girl tells her mom that she is going out to have some french fries. She went out and had sex with a boy for an hour and came back Mother: “And how was were Girl: Mother: “I can see that, the mayonaise is dripping out of your mouth.”
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Free Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Source:Google.com.pk
Biography:
* A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
* Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed.
That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says,
"I dreamt I had the best wank last night."
The guy on the left side says,
"That's funny, I had the exact same dream!".
The guy in the middle says, "I dreamt I was skiing."
* A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
"What's wrong with you?" The barman says.
"In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies.
"We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park.
He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman.
"It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says.
"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop.
The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes For Adults Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Source:Google.com.pk
Biography:
* A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also, and the man at the end laughs even louder. One after another, the people wish for the same thing. The closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" The man says, "Make them all ugly again!"
* A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man.
I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."
* WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WORK AND PRISON...
Maybe prison isn't so bad...
IN PRISON You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON You get three meals a day.
AT WORK You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON You get your own toilet.
AT WORK You have to share.
IN PRISON They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON All expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required by you.
AT WORK You get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Really Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Source:Google.com.pk
Biography:
* Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilometer. Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: " In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards !
* Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
* A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
* A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk! eplied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Very Funny Jokes Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Source:Google.com.pk
Biography:
* A woman confided to her girlfriend, “My ex-husband wants to marry me again.”
The friend said, “How flattering.”
The woman replied, “Not really. I think he’s after the money I married him for.”
* A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He enters and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says that he smells kind of nerdy. He then asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver explains to him that he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender serves him a beer and says, "OK, truck drivers aren't nerds."
As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in wearing a pair of glasses with tape around the middle, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt that is at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that.
The bartender replied, "Don't worry. The computer nerds are in season because they are overpopulating Silicon Valley. You don't even need a license."
So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads for the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the road. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, snatching up all of the computers. The scavengers are comprised of engineers, accountants and programmers - computer geeks. Each of them wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.
He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.
The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought computer nerds were in season."
"Well, sure," says the patrolman, "But you can't bait 'em!"
* Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilometer. Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: " In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards !
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
Funny Jokes Stories Free Funny Photos Pictures Images 2013
